My most memorable moment in Rumble Roses wasn't a grueling submission hold, though there were many of those. It wasn't a come-from-behind victory to win the title, even if I had a few of them. No, it was when the Native American wrestler, Aigle, told the Western character, "Cowgirl have magnificent teats." It sums up the comic sexiness of this game in a nutshell.

Foxy Boxing

I wouldn't dare say wrestling fans won't have some fun with Rumble Roses -- quite the contrary. Since SmackDown developer Yuke's helped put this puppy together, you know it's at least a passable grappler. You're able to work on body parts in advanced fashion, making submissions more lucrative than pinfalls. It's sometimes a little iffy getting the submission moves to work, as well as getting out of them if you're a victim, but I like the system.

The Japanese flavor means you'll see some moves that not even Rob Van Dam would attempt to execute. Since girls have been known to fight dirty, you also have Humiliation Moves to add insult to injury. These are a supplement to the normal finishers, with both feeding from the same meter. They're not as devastating as I'd like, but they're available more frequently as a tradeoff.


Let's be realistic, though: If you want a straight-up wrestling game, you know where to go. Rumble Roses is for the Dead or Alive fans out there -- for the ones who only buy the swimsuit editions of "Sports Illustrated." These ladies, dear reader, are hot. Hot, hot, hot. I wager to say these are some of the best character models I've ever seen in a PS2 game, so kudos to the developers.

She Has A Nice Personality

Gimmicks abound, with naughty nurses, mystical ninjas, and leather-clad bondage chicks. Some are straight arrows fighting for honor, while others are pure evil, plain and simple. The ladies' voices, costumes, and even the paths of their individual story mode plots stay in character. Yes, it's hokey to hear the teacher treat everyone as a student and listening to the Native American talk like someone who rides the short bus may make you cringe, but the writing and voice acting is good enough that you'll have more chuckles than groans.

With inevitable (and sometimes unexpected) plot twists and unlockable characters for everyone, you'll spend a good dozen hours on this aspect of the game alone. The boss is also extremely cool, and her unique physique makes for some innovative moves. Though every match takes place either in the ring or the mud pit (more on that later), a lot of the cutscenes go backstage.